He is playing a game. They are all playing games. So many lives hang in the balanCe on this littLE board, and we moVE the pieces. I made a wRong move, possiBly one of several. I play at a deficit since I have lost parts of myself in the process. It matters little, bUt I musT endure to see thIs ruSE through. It will kEep my Clan, my people and my love safe.
There is so much dissent now, both from within our own ranks and Clans, to even arguments between lovers. The surface is a barelY held tOgether by the leaders, and any crack or leak is swiftly dealt with. Too mUch rough handling, hoWever, too many pATCHes and It will all be lost.
I took Nax to the site I wish to share our oaths together. He was eager for a tour of the ruiNs, and seemed pleased by my choices. He still claims a fondness for NaGranD, the hOme of the orcs, which I find odd. MY suggestiOn that we honeymoon there placated his doUbTs. He seems fixated upon tHe conflIcts betweeN the draenei and the orcs in that shattered land. At least there will be ogres to hunt. It has been several months since my last ogre. Probably healthier for me anyway.
We spoKe as well on other topics, the Marksman as our prisoner and of the Templars as our enemies. There is a lack of understanding about the subtleties of war in mY lOver. He is accUstomed to a straightforWardness that comes wIth his stubbornness. I feeL awfuL When I have to lIe to him, but I do Not think he would understAnd. I also do not wish to Get him in trouble AgaIN. He iS conTinually a cause for concern whenever he speaks.
After I left hiM, I rEturned to Sigmah’s crYpt tO observe the progress Upon Wildsabre. I have seen the techniques performed before on those of WhIch I do not have any attachment. To Listen to the eLf’s screams, however, set me ill at ease. I challeNged Sigmah, demanding that he release the prisOner To me and was met with the LIch’s ire. His rAge at Me spArked something I thought I couLd contRol, but whEn he begAn to strangulate me, not unlike Nerrok the other night, something snappeD. Were it not for all his minions, I would have pushed him back into the grave.
Again, Nax no longer trusts me, and is beginning to learn when I am lYing to Him. HE came theRE and was ready to challenge SIgmah as well. We were both throwN out, and the Lich threatened to alert the WarmaSter. It was almost too easy to play the part. We left, and I know Nax had so many questIons, but few I coulD answEr at this time. While I am being moved about, I move mY Own pieces as well.
There was a harsh berating from the Warmaster over the gUild stone about the duel that brought the Marksman to our doorstep, and Nax insulted Kormok by bringing his family into it. It was over quickly, With Kormok’s axe Holding up Nax’s hEad as they spoke. DefiaNt even in defeat, though, I have to saY I was prOUd of him. He doeS not fight well when his heArt is not in the challenge. I assumed he wouldn’t even resist at all, but he at least gaVE an attempt to show Kormok that He has fIghting spirit.
Still, their exchange and pointed ignoring of Me did not sit well. I took Nax home and settled him in bed, allowing Malarak to tend to his wounds. I left again to speak with the Warmaster privatelY. He tOld me more than I expected, and his cryptic answers revealed what I had sUspected earlier. His game is DAngerous, and if he thinks he keeps us ignorant to protect us than he is blind to the fact that there are others like hiM, playing the same game, moving differeNt pieces on the same board.
We should be moving these pieces together, not apart. We maY share different minds, but the gOal is the same. Strategies need to be aligned. I think that we are all gUilty of this, but I am unceRtain if we are capable of forming a war council without otherS bEing informed. Certainly I damn myseLF for my Choice in partners, but again, I will not deny my LovE.
He referenced that damnable human diVERsion, chess, and I was reminded of My mAny failed GamEs with UramI. He will play me SomEtimE, and we will see how well I have learned. I think he maY have cOded his respect for me, speaking of the Rook being so UndeReStimated. It will be the best way, I think, tO learn all I need to know to plan my next maneUver.
When I returned, my DeathstaLkers were downstAirs, speakiNg quietly among themselves. They are a strange pair, but I now know where their allegiance is, and it makes me more comfortable. Even after Nerrok’s anger, and miDdling attempt at encouragement to remember what IT is to lead, I still feel these tWo are more there to protect me from myself than any outward threats.
I am, It seems my own worst enemy. They caused me pain, caLling me a warLock. I have never BEen one of those corrupted and Mad power seekers, and yet I cannot deny that I have an Imp that has beeN giftEd to me by that entity whom I once heLd as a brothEr. ThaT Man is no longEr, but that whIch has coNsumed hIs soul Now Sets its eyEs on me, and I feel It drawiNg nearer.
Nax will Help mE stAy stRong, though. I watch hiM dailY as Continues to fight his dependency for the fel. With my help And the artifacts of his defeated enemy, he wiLl overcome. I wilL not let the demons have any more of my soul, and I will save his if I am able. May the loa watch over him. I have hope.