Insein L'Mort
He is tired, nervous and rather uncomfortable. I have never thought that an accomplished Apothecary would show fear, but for all the times I have come to him for repairs, for supplies he did not conceive what they were from. Under all of the power, all of his influence he is a man, and one of genteel nature.
Like me, he does not sleep, save on rare occasions. He works constantly, straining himself to better all of us. He broke away briefly from his duties to tend me in Thunder Bluff after our Clan had met at the home of Athalia and Kormok. There was an uncanny number of our kind in the Bluff tonight.
I had been flying over when I noticed Kennius. He had been deep in thought. He misses Velexie, and I am afraid he is not the only one. I miss her as well, and I fear for her safety as well. Hope is crushed daily when one of us falls, and it makes picking up the pieces and moving on so much more of a burden. He is strong, though, and offered comfort to ease my mind from my own troubles.
We noticed another of our kind wandering the Bluffs in a curious fashion. It was the rotbrain magus that I had often seen wandering the forests of Silverpine. He was less confused tonight, and it appears the Apothecaries had done some work upon him to restore some of his sanity. He is a composite being, two personas within. I would like to say it is uncommon for our kind, but often it is a coping mechanism. They introduced themselves as Matthew and Daemon, and were much more polite than prior instances. They requested my tutelage in the arcane. I will try to carve out time for them. They seem nice enough and slightly more stable now.
While dealing with these entities, Naxevo had come to find me. His is insistent that we escape the war and find a place to hide and call home. He is so enthralled and disjointed I fear his mind is completely unhinged. He tries to please me any way he can. Short of ending his life, I can but look on helplessly and despair at what I have done. There is hope, however. He spoke of encountering a hostile dwarf and killing him quickly, as to ensure that it did not suffer. It is a step in the proper direction. He can defend himself and I am glad.
I spoke to him privately about Valin and my decision to try to date. He took it well, to say the least. He is eager to serve me and now Valin, but is still adamant in his desire to find the three of us a quiet home far from any conflict. Where have I gone wrong? I do not know. At least Valin is used to servants, I think. I still am not.
Cethlenn was also observing, most likely stopping by on her way home to the desert. She was rather surprised to be set upon by the sheer number of our kind as well. The poor dear does need smaller steps to become reintegrated with any semblance of society and friendships. I hope Kennius and Matthew and Daemon did not bother her too much.
Shortly after Valin and Nax spoke, both Valin and I tired of the company. They are all dear to me, but I cannot endure that many of our kind expressing their insanities so publicly among the living allies. Valin and I retired back to Undercity.
Something about the quiet whisperings of our city comforts me. I can endure the stares of the guards and the rumormongers. The Apothecary is so above me, almost beyond reproach that I still question why he feels as he does for me. Even in life he would have had nothing to do with me. I am a common student of the arcane, and focused upon more esoteric connections of our existence. He was noble, and still carries himself with such grace and poise that many are intimidated simply by his presence.
I do not want him to fear me, nor my needs and desires. Tonight we found a quiet location near his beloved Apothecarium. To ease his mind, I made a few quick trips and found the necessary ingredients to make and serve him tea. He cannot process the tea, so I tried something different. I substituted the normally pure water for embalming fluid. It seemed to help with his stress, and he fell to idle banter in no time.
He spoke of the future, and he complimented me upon both my tea and my personal being. Considering it is often his work to repair my flesh, I smiled and returned the compliment. He should someday consider repairing himself further. He is beautiful in his rotting form, and would only improve with repair.
After tea, I begged him to remove some of his armour, that I would be better able to rub his shoulders. It is not something that often works upon the dead, but the gesture is tantamount and expresses my concern for the man. He allowed this brief respite, and seemed to benefit from it. I also proffered several gentle kisses which seemed to please him. Refraining from allowing passions to control me is a challenge, but in the long run it will benefit him further.
We will take small steps to repair ourselves and make us stronger. In the long term, it will make our people stronger. Before he left me to return to his work, he embraced me. There were no words that needed to be exchanged. We know each other’s heart. It has been accidental and long in the making, but there is a trust and bond that has been established. He sealed that bond with his kiss, fleshless lips parting to push against mine, tongue seeking to taste his own repair work.
I was left to clean up the tea, and my claws shook. I broke another cup.
